Meal 1 - 303
1 egg, Laughing Cow cheese, Small bagel, 8 oz milk

Meal 2 - 270
Syntrax protien, 1.8 oz Cinnomon Strusel Mini Wheats

Meal 3 - 351
Lentil Stew, Oroweat Double Fiber, Banana, 8 oz milk

Meal 4 - 366
Bagelful, 1 tb PB, apple

Meal 5 - 355
Veggie burger, Low Carb bread, Laughing cow cheese, 1 tb Hummus, carrots

Meal 6 - 160
SF pudding, Banana

Total: 1805

Water: {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

My BMR: 1341.26

B(221)

1/4 cup FF cottage cheese, 1/2 cup organic blackberries, 1/2 fiber muffin, 1 tbs peanut butter

So pretty much I had people jumping down my throat to eat. I eat, you just dont see me because unless I was invited for a meal, I really really REALLY dont like to eat in front of people. I find it rude. And gained back some of the weight that I lost. Oh well, it will go back down. But I really want to rant so, here it is.

I hate people, especially on this same site that I am telling all those who have the time to read my blog, that sit there and talk nothing but their weight. Okay I get it, this is just one of your accounts. Sure it might be the one for weight loss. But you just sitting there complaining that you are SOO FAT or that you are a FAT COW for eating the 'whole cup of mashed potatoes' get over yourselves. Please. First of all, bashing yourself just makes you feel so bad that you will just want to do it again or somehting. Secondly, if this account for weight loss, if you can write anything other than your intake/outake then go ahead, write about your life. Or how you felt after you ate all that other than a fat cow. No one wants to hear it. Your prolly just fishing for compliments from girls who ate a cup and a half of mashed potatoes!!!

Now, I know sometimes I can be like this, but its not of my own accord...Well... Okay I need to give some explination here.

It might be time to tell yall... I suffer from (its not medically tested so I am just guessing...Pretty sure its what it is but its not like 'official') Multiple Personality Disorder. Now before you write this off as just another girl constantly PMSing I have to tell you how pretty severe this is. I dont remember half my life. I remember broad points of life like I went to prom, it sucked, I dated this guy who ditched me to go smoke weed...Things like that. Now, he claims we had sex...I dont remember that. He says we dated for four months...I thought it was two. Friends tell me that we were constantly kissing in the parking lot....I have this aversion to PDA and will refuse to kiss more than two pecks in public. And thats not all. It goes on and on and on.  Now you may be thinking "Oh she just has some bad memeory." Well, okay that may be so, but I do remember some things when reminded. But its like looking through fog. It is a very vague veil over the memory and I would never have remembered without help. Most of my life is like this. It can happen anywhere from a week to four months at a time. And I know I dont feel exactly right, but like my mind has shut down and Im letting my body take over. Kinda like that stupor you get when you are completely pissed (drunk). You remember part of what happened but only kinda and then other times you are like..."shit...What did I do? Are you sure??" Yeah, thats my life

Lately it has been getting better though...Or not happening for long stretches at a time, or not at all... I cant remember. But this is me. Not some weight obssesed teenager who only cares about how I look. No. I am not afraid to eat a whole pizza...except for the grease part... (one of my wierd phobias, having grease on my lips) unless I really dont feel like eating so much that I puke of course. But Im not afraid to eat a piece of cake, or a donut. Nope. I have not true Eating Disorder. If I were to be diagnosed with one it would be the kind where I dont feel like putting harmful in my body. I dont remember what its called but I read about it somewhere. I dont take medicines such as tylonol or advil. I dont want the chemicals in my body. I do not eat meat because its too hard for my own body to digest. I dont like to drink full sugared drinks because it leaves a weird slimy substance at the back of my throat. So hey, some people that is harming for my body. I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER

Okay, no. I dont. I am of a healthy BMI. I do eat, but not in front of people. Gaining weight sounds unpleasant to me but I am not scared of it. I dont have an eating disorder. No, not even an EDNOS. Sorry, I am just a teenager that is trying to do right by my one and only body and my one and only soul and mind. If you think that I have an eating disorder GREAT, congradulations. Stop reading because you are disgusted with me. Stop telling me that I will 'waste away' because I wont. I have been eating like this for four years. Nope, I havnt wasted away yet!